Running two accounts is technologically problematic on this platform so I'm reducing my burden to just this account! Yes, it's me and, yes, I messaged my mom after reading your post. It is spiritually liberating in articulating emotions of love to loved-ones even if they are incapable of reciprocation. In any case, even if she can't say it, I know my Mom loves me.
Wow, journey on my friend. It's clear you have important work to share here, and there's no doubt that "it might help someone else!" or lots of someone elses. 💜
There is a lot here to unpack and understand with what seems to be mixed feelings though I am not sure. This piece feels like the first of more pieces about your relationship with your mother. An important piece as you said because many struggle with mixed feelings about our families and specifically, mothers. A brave piece!
Thank you. I've written lots about my mom already, probably 4 or 5 blogs on substack already, about the mixed feelings I've had over the years. Thank you for taking the time to make a comment. Not really brave because I didn't read it to her. She was already in that space where she wasn't able to communicate as she had just a year prior. Not brave. Sad.
I understand now. I was not sure from the letter. I am so sorry for your loss. Not being able to say what you need to say in person and holding it in then processing it on your own. 💔
Please don't be sorry. I am not sad. Diane lives on in me. She sees what I see. She is connected still with me. We said everything we needed to say. We worked hard at that. Aging isn't easy for anyone. She felt it deeply. She questions decisions and commitments she made in life. Really, there is no reason to feel sorry for the loss. Life is about love and loss. That's what life is. I'm not stopped in my tracks by the loss. I'm freed up to listen more deeply within and have more choices and I love that. She was ready to go. She knew she was going. When my dad died I said I wanted to set her up with Mel Brooks. We had all watched the movie If Your Not in the Obits, Then Eat Breakfast which she loved. https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Not-Obit-Eat-Breakfast/dp/B071G1XX2J/ref=sr_1_9?crid=3H58SYIWMHGS3&keywords=Carl+Reiner&qid=1677953891&sprefix=carl+reiner%2Caps%2C187&sr=8-9 She had the same streak in her hair as Anne Bancroft. I thought they'd be a natural match. Actually, my mom started shutting down in 2004 when she was diagnosed with the cancer I have now. THIS IS LIFE. She said a few decades ago, "All my favorite people are dead." She is now with them. They are all in touch with me here. Nothing to be sad about!
I do believe that our (departed) loved ones live on in our hearts and psyches. You have a beautiful take on it. Keep writing. I will look forward to reading your work. I love her photos. ❤️
Thank you. My mom was unhappy with her relationship with her own mother. She worked hard to give me what her mom didn't give her. Sound familiar? She was a talented woman who didn't think she was... and she gave it all away instead of focusing it on something specific just for her. By the end she felt let down. That pains me. I gave lots to my relationship with her. She gave me life. I was very fortunate indeed. That's what she always said to me, "Keep Writing!" She did however, focus on the impossible and ignored signposts that would later damage her dream of a happy healthy family life. I've learned much. That's for sure. Also paying attention to repeating patterns and writing on the wall no one paid attention to. Her fears came true. She worried about everything. My dad's mom said, "If worrying would help, I'd worry." When I start to worry I try to focus on my grandma instead of my mom. Thank you.
Dundus. BB? What you say here warms my heart. Thank you for sharing this good news!
Running two accounts is technologically problematic on this platform so I'm reducing my burden to just this account! Yes, it's me and, yes, I messaged my mom after reading your post. It is spiritually liberating in articulating emotions of love to loved-ones even if they are incapable of reciprocation. In any case, even if she can't say it, I know my Mom loves me.
I know your loves you too! I can feel it and lots of others in your world admire you too!
Wow, journey on my friend. It's clear you have important work to share here, and there's no doubt that "it might help someone else!" or lots of someone elses. 💜
Thanks gorgeous! Have a splendid weekend!
There is a lot here to unpack and understand with what seems to be mixed feelings though I am not sure. This piece feels like the first of more pieces about your relationship with your mother. An important piece as you said because many struggle with mixed feelings about our families and specifically, mothers. A brave piece!
Thank you. I've written lots about my mom already, probably 4 or 5 blogs on substack already, about the mixed feelings I've had over the years. Thank you for taking the time to make a comment. Not really brave because I didn't read it to her. She was already in that space where she wasn't able to communicate as she had just a year prior. Not brave. Sad.
Is your mom still alive? I could not determine from the piece or not able to communicate anymore due to advanced age?
She passed 5/1/2020. She is still with me. In so many ways. The deep communication is still there.
I understand now. I was not sure from the letter. I am so sorry for your loss. Not being able to say what you need to say in person and holding it in then processing it on your own. 💔
Please don't be sorry. I am not sad. Diane lives on in me. She sees what I see. She is connected still with me. We said everything we needed to say. We worked hard at that. Aging isn't easy for anyone. She felt it deeply. She questions decisions and commitments she made in life. Really, there is no reason to feel sorry for the loss. Life is about love and loss. That's what life is. I'm not stopped in my tracks by the loss. I'm freed up to listen more deeply within and have more choices and I love that. She was ready to go. She knew she was going. When my dad died I said I wanted to set her up with Mel Brooks. We had all watched the movie If Your Not in the Obits, Then Eat Breakfast which she loved. https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Not-Obit-Eat-Breakfast/dp/B071G1XX2J/ref=sr_1_9?crid=3H58SYIWMHGS3&keywords=Carl+Reiner&qid=1677953891&sprefix=carl+reiner%2Caps%2C187&sr=8-9 She had the same streak in her hair as Anne Bancroft. I thought they'd be a natural match. Actually, my mom started shutting down in 2004 when she was diagnosed with the cancer I have now. THIS IS LIFE. She said a few decades ago, "All my favorite people are dead." She is now with them. They are all in touch with me here. Nothing to be sad about!
I do believe that our (departed) loved ones live on in our hearts and psyches. You have a beautiful take on it. Keep writing. I will look forward to reading your work. I love her photos. ❤️
Thank you. My mom was unhappy with her relationship with her own mother. She worked hard to give me what her mom didn't give her. Sound familiar? She was a talented woman who didn't think she was... and she gave it all away instead of focusing it on something specific just for her. By the end she felt let down. That pains me. I gave lots to my relationship with her. She gave me life. I was very fortunate indeed. That's what she always said to me, "Keep Writing!" She did however, focus on the impossible and ignored signposts that would later damage her dream of a happy healthy family life. I've learned much. That's for sure. Also paying attention to repeating patterns and writing on the wall no one paid attention to. Her fears came true. She worried about everything. My dad's mom said, "If worrying would help, I'd worry." When I start to worry I try to focus on my grandma instead of my mom. Thank you.