We cannot turn the clock back and change the past. But we can give, what we would have wanted, to those we encounter in the future.
Every small kindness given gives the giver something back - even if it is hard to define how it works.
I'm endlessly grateful to have five grandkids circulating in and out of my life. I tell them jokes, I tickle them and I just sit and do things together with them. I'm creating memories in their young lives about what a loving older person is, and can be.
I smile when I open a door for someone and I tell jokes to retail staff when I'm engaging with them. I smile at babies when they look at me.
I hope I don't sound like I'm preaching. here. But I figured out, sometime ago, that giving away what I'd like to receive is a secret path to my own happiness. And I put down the mirror that I used to look in to see what I looked like to other people. And that left me more time to see other people and their needs better.
Thank you for commenting. It usually does come through as preaching, however, I know you are a wise man who has gotten to live his life fully. I figured out early on that humanity and the animal world is all family. Also, that many take on the responsibility without recognizing it's a responsibility and therefore more children with extra deeper needs require love and attention. When young and overachieving I only wanted to head home. I'm an introvert raised as an extrovert. Now when I go out, by choice, I have energy for the entire world, until I don't anymore and need to head home. I'm not sad about the past, nor worried about the future, as long as Trump gets put where he belongs. I see other people and their needs quite clearly. Thank you.
Ah, yes. We, too-often, make commitments to others because we have been trained to be nice or obedient or some other self-denying way of being. It always costs us, whether or not we can pin down the exact price. Thank you for your intimate sharing and insight.
Thank you Laurie. I really try to dig into why I feel what I feel. I've done therapy. I didn't write this criticizing my past. Did it come across that way. I know for sure, women have been trained to be nice and obedient and always to deny the self to please the other. Ok. Maybe not now but not too long ago. I was encouraged to be myself and go for my goals, as long as they suited those who brought me into this world. I used to say, "I can do whatever I want, as long as its in Lakewood." My dad didn't understand why I was futzing around in the DC Metro area if I wasn't working for the government.
Lisa,
We cannot turn the clock back and change the past. But we can give, what we would have wanted, to those we encounter in the future.
Every small kindness given gives the giver something back - even if it is hard to define how it works.
I'm endlessly grateful to have five grandkids circulating in and out of my life. I tell them jokes, I tickle them and I just sit and do things together with them. I'm creating memories in their young lives about what a loving older person is, and can be.
I smile when I open a door for someone and I tell jokes to retail staff when I'm engaging with them. I smile at babies when they look at me.
I hope I don't sound like I'm preaching. here. But I figured out, sometime ago, that giving away what I'd like to receive is a secret path to my own happiness. And I put down the mirror that I used to look in to see what I looked like to other people. And that left me more time to see other people and their needs better.
Dennis
New Zealand
Thank you for commenting. It usually does come through as preaching, however, I know you are a wise man who has gotten to live his life fully. I figured out early on that humanity and the animal world is all family. Also, that many take on the responsibility without recognizing it's a responsibility and therefore more children with extra deeper needs require love and attention. When young and overachieving I only wanted to head home. I'm an introvert raised as an extrovert. Now when I go out, by choice, I have energy for the entire world, until I don't anymore and need to head home. I'm not sad about the past, nor worried about the future, as long as Trump gets put where he belongs. I see other people and their needs quite clearly. Thank you.
Ah, yes. We, too-often, make commitments to others because we have been trained to be nice or obedient or some other self-denying way of being. It always costs us, whether or not we can pin down the exact price. Thank you for your intimate sharing and insight.
Thank you Laurie. I really try to dig into why I feel what I feel. I've done therapy. I didn't write this criticizing my past. Did it come across that way. I know for sure, women have been trained to be nice and obedient and always to deny the self to please the other. Ok. Maybe not now but not too long ago. I was encouraged to be myself and go for my goals, as long as they suited those who brought me into this world. I used to say, "I can do whatever I want, as long as its in Lakewood." My dad didn't understand why I was futzing around in the DC Metro area if I wasn't working for the government.